Three Rest Stops for a Weary Heart

Authenticity. We all love the word but few of us actually love the meaning. Why? Because being truly authentic requires vulnerability. Vulnerability opens the door for someone to hurt you and no one loves that. Yet, it is in this place of extreme vulnerability that the deepest of friendships are formed and the most valuable gems of life are mined. So, today I bring to you my weary heart with all it's self-reliance, jaded distrust and little god creating tendencies and I lay it on the table. As you tour it you'll find that it is limp and worn. Bruises shine in grotesque colours and a deep cut has been lanced into it from a recent costly loss. This heart that has been so spirited and fiesty is now downcast and daunted.

The circumstances that have led to this point are really unspectacular. The layering of pain, discomfort, relationial struggles, and unwelcome personal limitations have all become heavier and heavier. The day to day drudge of this journey has reminded me yet again of how weak I am and the budgeting of limited energy brings resentment toward the journey. Not yet half way through and I'm already a bundle of complaint and irritation. The fight is harder than I bargained for and I'd love a "get out of jail free" card. If you came here today hoping for inspiration and a quick word of encouragement for your day then you can click here for your daily Good House Keeping fix. But in the event that your heart is as heavy as mine I want to share three "important rest stops" that I pray will give you the same rest and satisfaction that my soul desperately needs right now.

The Rock

When was the last time you just cried out to God and expected Him to answer you? I've often heard of people "praying expectantly" and the idea has set my teeth on edge. How dare little you tell the Creator of the Universe what He is going to do?! However, this week I've been studying the gospel of Mark and was struck in chapter 6 at how the disciples marveled when their requests were answered because "they had not gained any insight from the incident of the loaves, but their heart was hardened." I'm jumping into the middle of the passage here but in short, the disciples had just watched Jesus feed 5000 people with two little loaves of bread and 2 normal size fish yet when Jesus turned around that same day, walked on water and told a storm to shut up they marveled. Why? Because they were entertained by the party tricks Jesus could do but they had missed the fact that Jesus is God and God is the Great I AM. Mic drop.

The point of praying expectantly is not to hand over your list of demands and expect God to do them. Rather, it is to recognize that your tiny call from the end of the earth will reach the ears of your Eternal Father and He will delight in filling your faint heart with Himself. Maybe that will look the way you ask but regardless you can have confident expectation that your Protector, Defender and Solid Rock will rise up as your Shelter and will nurture you there. So with the Psalmist cry out,

"Hear my cry, O God, listen to my prayer;  from the end of the earth I call to you when my heart is faint.Lead me to the rock that is higher than I, for you have been my refuge, a strong tower against the enemy. Let me dwell in your tent forever! Let me take refuge under the shelter of your wings! Selah" ~ Psalm 61

The Stream

My "good weeks" aren't looking nearly as "good" as they did a month ago but when I am able I have the luxery of walking along a stunning river near my home. While the river has never yet been unspectacular it has one flaw: It changes. Dependent on the snow melt, rain fall (or lack there of) or a plethora of other environmental factors the river will rise to dangerous levels or fall to the point you could likely walk across it. Not so with the living God. Every morning that I wake up and every night that I go to bed I find the same unchanging God who satisfies. The core of who I am will always be thirsty. I can try filling it with all manner of things but there is only one Stream, the Stream of God's Word, that will satisfy. It will never be dangerously full making it perilous for me to drink from nor will I ever find it too shallow to fulfill my need. So when my tears create a flood and dehydrate my soul or when the torrential rains of life hit the window of my mind with "Where is your God?" I must turn to His Word where I will find Him in all His goodness and satisfaction. When my soul is downcast I must make the active choice to drink from the stream of living water for herein is hope. While you may not find the voice to dance and sing you will find refreshment and assurance that your Salvation and Your God is by your side with everything you need for today and you will again praise Him.

As a deer pants for flowing streams, so pants my soul for you, O God. My soul thirsts for God, for the living God.When shall I come and appear before God? My tears have been my food day and night, while they say to me all the day long, “Where is your God?” These things I remember, as I pour out my soul:how I would go with the throng and lead them in procession to the house of God with glad shouts and songs of praise, 

a multitude keeping festival.

Why are you cast down, O my soul, and why are you in turmoil within me? Hope in God; for I shall again praise him, my salvation and my God. ~ Psalm 42

The Sanctuary

Recently I was asked to make one of the most painful choices of my life. An ultimatum was given by one of the people that I love most dearly in the world to choose between my relationship with this person or my relationship with God. While I could continue my relationship with God in private my relationship with this dear one could only continue if I lived as though God did not exist when I was with them. At first glance this may seem like a rational request. I mean, how hard is it to just knock "God talk" out of the equation when we spend time together? Yet, deeper consideration makes this impossible when God is the Floor that keeps my feet from slipping, the Walls that shield me, the Banner of Love over me and the Hiding Place that is my Refuge? When God holds my hand, is the strength of my incredibly weak knees and the very Sanctuary for my heart how can I pretend He is non-existent? If your heart is weak, weary and worn like mine I urge you not to combat this state with your own attempts at self reliance and self sufficiency. Do not fall for the idea that God is a good thing to have around but something you can "opt out of" if He doesn't suit you. He is worth sacrificing everything for. Make Him your everything and do not be silent.

"But as for me, my feet had almost stumbled, my steps had nearly slipped. For I was envious of the arrogant when I saw the prosperity of the wicked. For they have no pangs until death. . .They are not in trouble as others are;    they are not stricken like the rest of mankind. . . But when I thought how to understand this, it seemed to me a wearisome task, until I went into the sanctuary of God; then I discerned their end. Truly you set them in slippery places; you make them fall to ruin. . . When my soul was embittered,    when I was pricked in heart, I was brutish and ignorant; I was like a beast toward you.Nevertheless, I am continually with you; you hold my right hand. You guide me with your counsel, and afterward you will receive me to glory. Whom have I in heaven but you? And there is nothing on earth that I desire besides you. My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.

For behold, those who are far from you shall perish; you put an end to everyone who is unfaithful to you. But for me it is good to be near God; I have made the Lord God my refuge, that I may tell of all your works." ~ Psalm 73

Dear friend, be ok with not being ok and run to the One Who will not fail when everyone and everything else does. Take your weary, stumbling feet to the throne room of the One True God. Draw Near. Make Him your satisfaction. Make Him Your Refuge. He will not fail you. Even when all else does.